I couldn’t find my glasses this morning. I woke up like I usually did, took a shower, got dressed, put some make-up on and got ready to leave for work as usual. The last thing I put on before I leave my room is my glasses so I looked around for it. On my bed…(yes, I mostly toss it somewhere on my bed because I take it off just before I fall asleep), on my dresser, the chair in the corner, under my bed, in the bag I took out yesterday and everywhere else. I looked everywhere but couldn’t find it. I extended my search to the living room, the kitchen and my mum’s room but still couldn’t find it.
Okay, I’ll admit I can be careless. Yes, my name is Oyebola Ayeni and I am
a little careless but anyone who knows me knows that my glasses are basically like my eyes and I try to be as careful with it as possible. I’m short-sighted (which means I only see things far-away that matter) and being without my glasses is living avoidably disadvantaged and not the least bit fun at all. So at this point I started to get really, really, really upset. I must have looked under my bed 5 times! When it wasn’t like I was looking for a needle?!
As I kept searching and searching, I uttered a line of prayer begging God to find my glasses. I teared up a bit because I was a mixture of frustrated and angry. I generally hate looking for anything and then this wasn’t just anything. My glasses are a huge part of my life. The expected rapid answer to my prayer did not come so I got slightly angry with God because I knew He knew where my glasses were.
Eventually I got tired and left my house very angrily for work as I was running super late. I had a scowl on my face and responded coldly to someone that greeted me on the way. This was someone I would usually greet first. I scowled all the way to work but then decided that I wasn’t going to let the absence of my glasses completely ruin my day though I was still not totally cool with the man upstairs for not responding rapidly to my desperate plea for help.
However I engaged in some chatter with my colleagues and caught myself laughing. After that, I logged on to Twitter to catch up with my timeline. A friend I follow had retweeted some heart-breaking tweets from a man that had lost his wife and newborn baby. In his 12 tweets, I felt his sadness, sense of loss and heart-ache although not in the same magnitude that he must feel as I have never lost a wife or a newborn or both at the same time and cannot fathom nor imagine what such a loss must feel like. What also amazed me was that not in a single tweet did He express any form of displeasure with God but only expressed displeasure with the doctors who apparently went against his instructions. I tweeted my condolences and uttered a few lines of prayer asking God to forgive me for my fowl attitude and then to strengthen and comfort him and to help him make sense of this time. My bratty attitude over my glasses now had me feeling super silly. Here I was, being kinda upset with God for not abracadabra-ing my glasses back to me in a flash while there was someone else who was dealing with way more than seemed fair or bearable.
The point of this post is not to compare pain as I believe strongly that pain or hardship should not measured or deemed unjustified by what the next person is going through because we are individuals living individually and our paths in life are totally different. However, when I hear, see or read the things others go through bravely, it puts in perspective how small-minded I am being at that particular time. Granted, my glasses help me see better but I should be grateful that I’m not blind without them. I made it out of my house unscathed, didn’t hit my foot on a rock or any other thing, crossed roads 5 times this morning and didn’t get hit by a vehicle I didn’t see because I wasn’t wearing my glasses. In fact, I’m typing this post on my
office computer without my glasses and I’m fine. My colleagues have commented that I look different without my glasses but not in a bad way so it’s okay. Different is good. I might squint for most of today and not see anyone who waves at me from afar but I can deal with that so I’ll be fine. I have way more to be grateful to God for than I have to be mad about.
May the souls of the departed mother and baby rest in the most perfect peace in Jesus’ name, Amen.
-Thanks for stopping by.